Occasionally she will find a blog article or Instagram post with a delicious looking recipe. Sometimes they taste as good as they look, sometimes the bottom of your shoe would taste better. Overall she' batting about .850 so there's not much to complain about.
To her credit, all of these meals are on the healthier side so even when we can only stomach a few bites, those bites are at least good for us. As it turns out there's no shortage of "healthy alternative" meals that include things like zucchini noodles, cauliflower crust or a chickpea base.
Now, let me take you back in time a few weeks. Erica came home from the grocery store with a bag of zucchini noodles and said to me "I found these at the store. We both love pasta and we haven't had it in a while so I decided to try it". I'm a fairly adventurous eater so I said sure let's try them. To hedge our bets I decided to make these noodles with chicken Italian sausage and a creamy alfredo sauce.
To give these noodles the best chance of success I followed the cooking directions exactly. While doing that I cooked the sausage and warmed up the sauce. Everything seemed to be going great, noodles looked good and the sausage was getting golden brown. Once the noodles finished cooking I dumped them into a large mixing bowl, then added the sausage and the sauce. To be doubly sure everything tasted great I added some shredded parmesan cheese and mixed it all together.
Bam, dinner is served. Just like any other night we sat at our bar stools, picked up our forks and dug in. I wrapped the noodles around my fork a few times, took a bite and that's when the trouble started. It definitely had a different texture than what I was expecting but figured it would just take some getting used to so I finished that bite and took another.
About halfway through choking down the second bite I looked over at Erica who was making an odd face. She's definitely known for using facial expressions as part of her humor but this was a unique look, even for her.
I finally got the second bite to go down my throat so I looked back at her and asked "what do you think?" Unable to finish her second bite she spit the noodles back into her bowl and said "I can't do it". Well, at least it wasn't just me that was having issues. She then proceeded to lean over the counter and dump the noodles into the garbage disposal.
Partly because I am stubborn and partly because I'm cheap, I figured I could suck it up and finish my bowl. So I took a third bite that turned out to be exponentially worse than the first two. It was a taste and texture I'm still unable to adequately describe. The best I can come up with is sucking down slimy live eels, but with less flavor.
After that third bite I had to throw in the towel so I followed Erica's lead and dumped my bowl into the garbage disposal. We then had plenty of good laughs trying to describe the terribleness of what we just ate while we cleaned up the kitchen and searched for something else to eat. We settled on fruit smoothies and enjoyed them while we sat down to watch some mindless TV before going to bed for the night.
While this was by far the worse thing we've tried for dinner it still gives us a good laugh every time we talk about it, so at least it wasn't a total fail. When she brings home random ingredients they work out for the most part, so she can have a pass on this one.
Tell me about some of the crazy Sh*t your wife made you try in the comments below.
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